Wednesday, April 21, 2010
This photo was taken at our Christmas party after a show one night. I'm still wearing my show make-up, and apparently I'm smiling so big, my eyes look slightly Asian, but I promise you, it's me!
I was twenty-four in the above picture. I just turned forty-six last Sunday. So, I wonder if you'll indulge me and let me have a word with that young, innocent girl hugging Robert Goulet. She needs to be aware of a few things.
Hi! Look at you, all happy and loving life! It IS pretty sweet right now, isn't it? Let me first tell you how proud I am of you. You've worked very, very hard to get to this point, and you're finally reaping the rewards of all those hours of vocal and dance training. Congratulations!
But Joan, I'm here to tell you it's about to get a little rough. Really rough, actually. When the tour ends in a few months, you'll return to NYC and resume auditioning, but the roles will not be forthcoming. You'll eventually have to resume your temping jobs. You'll cry as you head to your assignment that first morning back.
I know you don't believe me when I tell you this, because right now he seems so happy and blissfully content with you. He's not. He's just chosen not to tell you, thereby making it impossible for you to do anything to make it better. In fact, he's cheating on you as you stand here posing with Robert Goulet. You are clueless.
I won't lie, this is going to flatten you. Life it going to get really hard for awhile. You're going to endure some pretty severe emotional, physical, and financial struggles. You'll drop a lot of weight, because eating will be impossible. Your monthly periods will cease. Listening to the radio will no longer be bearable. You'll contemplate suicide.
But some amazing people, people who are strangers to you right now, are going to enter your life, pick you up off the floor, and help you through it. And although you'll refuse to believe anyone who tells you that you'd eventually recover, you will. You'll never be the same again, the sting of rejection from the one who knew you better than anyone will remain forever, but it will lessen. And you will survive. Really.
It's going to be a wonderful, magical reunion, but also a little tough. Because of your recent past, you'll be untrusting at first, and every time you make a mistake, you'll be convinced he's going to leave you. But because he's twenty times the man your ex-husband is, he'll stay. He's going to make your life extraordinary. Really.
Joan, it's going to get tough, but I promise you, you're going to survive. And after you do, it's going to be a lovely ride. What's more, you're going to emerge from the experience with a much deeper appreciation of all the tremendous blessings around you. Stuff you never noticed before. Right now, at twenty-four, the only things that bring you true joy are executing the perfect double pirouette, seeing a great Broadway show, or nailing a call-back after a well-executed audition.
There's a big change coming, Joan. And I'm here to tell you that you're going to make it. When you reach the ripe old age of forty-six, you'll still be able to tap that pain deep down that flattened you all those years back. But you'll realize that surviving all that's happened has made you a better, more thoughtful person. Your friendships will be more sincere, your appreciation of life more intense, your love, deeper. Quite simply, you're going to be a better person. Really.
So, enjoy your tour, give Mr. Goulet an extra hug, and get ready for your future. It's going to be amazing. Really.
Also, don't buy stock in Enron. Really.
Thanks for Reading!
- Anything Fits A Naked Man
- Nashville, TN, United States
- Welcome to my blog! I'm Joan, a former actress attempting to reconnect with my first love of writing. Join me as I ponder my Irish dad, sweet grandma, GPS dependency, hatred of the Hallmark channel, and other insightful topics that make you go, "Hmmm..."
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