Sunday, July 11, 2010

That's an Irish Lullaby


My dear blogger friends, I write today with a bit of a heavy heart.  I've just returned from a few days spent with my siblings, as we placed Dad in a nursing home back in our home state of Ohio.  He was living a contended life of retirement with our Mom in Winter Haven, Florida, when he suffered a stroke on Christmas Eve, from which he has has never recovered.

The truth is, these may be my father's last days.  The vibrant athlete, carpenter, coach, and teacher who worked his ass off to provide for his large family is now finding it difficult to sit up in bed.  He's not in pain, and he appears to be in good spirits.  Dad just appears to be slowly fading away.

I've decided I'm not yet ready to write about my own heartache over the whole situation, nor the surreal reality my brother, sisters, mother, and I are now forced to accept.  Maybe another day.

Instead, I'd like to share this lovely Irish lullaby, sung by Bing Crosby, from the movie Going My Way.  I believe it was the first song we kids learned.  Dad taught it to us.  Will you indulge me?

42 comments:

Evonne said...

I'm sorry. It's so hard to watch our loved ones go through something like this.

On another note, I would like to thank you for the song. My Pap used to sing this to me all the time when I was little.

christopher said...

I know the song well. Irish roots from my father too.

Age comes with some tough choices...wish you all well.

Sylvia K said...

I'm so sorry about your Father and I know this is a very difficult time for you. Loved hearing this song again, it's been a while. I'll be holding good thoughts for you and your family!

Sylvia

Angela said...

Such a sweet lullaby. ~ I'm sure your father is feeling incredibly blessed by all the love and support you and your siblings provided during this difficult transition. So glad you could each be there for him AND your mother. May your heart feel lighter knowing that he must feel so grateful for the envelopment of his family.

just call me jo said...

I'm sure your father is happy to know that you think of him in such a sweet way. Seeing your paretns age and change are some of the hardest things you'll ever go through. My thoughts are with you.

Jaime said...

i have no irish roots, but i'm familiar with the song. i'm sorry to hear you and your family are going through such a tough time.

Tammie said...

im so sorry you have to deal with this.

we'll be here if/when you do choose to write about it.

citymouse said...

My thoughts and prayers tonight are with you and your family. This is really hard. I know. As much as you can, focus on the good things your Dad represents.

Rianna said...

You poor thing. Sending a big hug. xo

Star Child said...

Never an easy choice or time, for a loved one to go into care.

The positives are that he will be being cared for 24 hrs a day, by experienced people who can deal with any issues of pain or distress quicker than you could at home.

I have watched people almost kill themselves by looking after loved ones at home. They misjudged the strain they would be under, the level of care that would be needed, and how, in fact, it doesn't help loved ones much when their relatives / carers are too ill to look after them properly.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Strength will be there when you need it. x

Feeling Just Right said...

Oh, my dear sweetheart,

I will pray for your Dad in all my sincerity, I promise. Don't feel sad. God will shower his choicest blessings on your family. His ways, we may not understand, but I assure you, He cares about His children a LOT LOT more than we can imagine.

Holding your hand through it all.

lifeshighway said...

A lovely lullaby and moving tribute. My best wishes to you and your family during this hard time.

Jean said...

My thoughts are with you. I will say a prayer for your dad and sending you big hugs!!!

xoxo

LucyCooper said...

Thanks for sharing the lullaby. And especially the picture of your dad. Those men-they're a whole other generation, a cut above. You and your siblings take good care of each other. Is there a way you could record some of these songs and play them for your dad? He'd probably find it comforting as well.... :o)

Looking for Blue Sky said...

It's always so hard to watch your parents declining, I saw it with my Mum. It sounds as though he is comfortable where he is and I hope this remains the case ((hugs))

ReformingGeek said...

I'm sorry about your father. I'm sending positive thoughts to your family.

Ilan said...

Joan,
My thoughts are with you, and your Dad is so blessed to have so many loved ones around him, as you are blessed to have him in your life. I know that one day you will look back and know how fortunate you were to have an extraordinary father, and you are an extraordinary woman !! And, by the way, I love that song and it was one of my first to learn as well!!
with Love,
Your old friend from college, Ilan

Teresa Evangeline said...

I know this one. It's tough. Very tough. Thinking of you, with love, Teresa

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I'm glad you were able to spend some time with him now. I know this isn't easy and there is nothing I can say to elevate this pain, although I wish there were.

I wish you strength and comfort during this difficult time.
Hugs
P.

Eva Gallant said...

I'm so sorry to read about your dad. I lost my dad when I was 27 and he was 62, nearly 40 years ago. I still miss him. I wish you strength, courage and peace.

Bev said...

I'm so sorry about your dad. Sending hugs and good wishes to you and your family.

blueviolet said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, and I'm sending love and hugs to you and your family.

Lisalulu said...

This has touched my heart. Our weekend was filled with the same sadness and heartache for my dear sweet mother-in-law

lori said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. What a handsome man he is - you can see the impish glint in his eye in the picture! I hope he's with you for a good while longer. My thoughts are with you and your family

The Urban Cowboy said...

My heart goes out to you during this painful point in your life.

A girl needs 2 Talk said...

Dear Joan,

I am praying for your Dad. God bless you all. :)

Eternally Distracted said...

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Café Bellini said...

It must be a difficult time for you. We also have a tricky situation with my mother-in-law, she's only just about able to still live on her own but refuses to leave her beloved home and we are too far away to help on a regular basis. We don't really know what to do with her...

Kyna said...

I'm sorry that you're going through so much crap at this time. My mother's going through some similar stuff with my stepdad right now...I'm kind of far removed from it, living here in the US. But it's always heavy on my mind.

Yankee Girl said...

My heart is with you.

Jessica said...

I'm sorry for all the unpleasantness :( The lullaby is wonderful. What a lovely thing to share.

jel said...

I'm sorry to hear this about your dad, ((((huggs))))

Delana said...

Joan, my thoughts are with you as well. I am quite sure he knows how blessed he's been and that you have made sure he knows what he's meant to you. A strong man like that cannot and would not wish for anything more as his days pass. My thoughts from across the ocean.

Darlene said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I know it must be so hard to see him that way. My thoughts and prayers are with you. That lullaby is beautiful and a beautiful clip from the movie.♥

Getting My Words Out said...

Oh, Joan...My heart is heavy for you right now.

Wild Rose said...

Lovely song and so sorry about your dad as well. Wishing you all the best and things will feel better in no time. Please have a wonderful weekend. x

Wild Rose~

Shan said...

I sure do wish you weren't having go through this. May peace find it's way to you and your family.

Krista said...

*hugs* Sorry I'm so late to chime in. My thoughts are with you, I dread reaching a similar point in my life. *more hugs*

Green Monkey said...

wow, its hard watching your parents grow old. its even harder saying goodbye.

my dad is still with me but he has parkinsons and is very frail. he has a caregiver 24/7. soon he will lose his ability to swallow. its very sad.

George said...

The Miserlis family has always had a particular fondness for Bing Crosby and that lovely, lovely song. So brilliant in every way...

Also, I apologize for being so very late in my response, as this is the first I've read of it.

All loving thoughts, Joanie.

Banjoan said...

My thoughts are with you as I know too well this scenario. My mother spent the last two years of her life in a nursing home with dementia. She seemed content in her own way but it was incredibly hard as my father was forced to accept her descent. This past November, my father passed away and now I wrestle with the could haves and should haves. I miss them terribly but am grateful for the moments we shared, even if they weren't particularly pretty ones.

Kakka said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I hope that you find the strength and the comfort in the memories you so often share here. Hugs my friend xxx

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