Monday, December 6, 2010
But I've been thinking a lot about those comfortable "old" ladies recently. They'd really get a kick out of me now, I'm sure. Because I'm there. I realized this a few days ago. Here's what happened:
So, there I was, having a grand old time in the era of big hair, when THIS happened:
Jennifer FREAKING Aniston!! Curse her and her thin, straight, straight hair!! I tried, folks, I really tried! I bought a flat iron, applied straightening shampoo and conditioner, and read article after article on "How to obtain Jen's sexy, sleek look!" Usually, it was a disaster! Occasionally, I'd find the right combination of product and styling tool, and achieve the flat look. But soon the humidity would take over, and my curls would begin to form, refusing to be silenced!!
It was a hard time for me, let me tell you! Even my former spiralled comrades were jumping ship and sporting the new flat style. Gloria Estefan and Nicole Kidman, once big, curly-haired goddesses, now looked like THIS:
Et tu, ladies? It became abundantly clear, I was standing on a sinking ship! So I smoothed my hair as best I could, and managed to make it through that dark time, or as I refer to it: "The Sleek Years."
She colored, cut, then began the styling process. She attached a diffuser to her blow dryer, then, turned me around away from the mirror. She tugged and pinched at my locks, happily humming away. Soon, the other stylists were walking by, exclaiming things like, "Wow, that looks GREAT!" and "You have beautiful hair!" and "That's EXACTLY how I'd want my hair to look if it was curly!"
WOW!! I began making plans to call Alan, he was going to need to take me out on the town to show off my amazing new style! I couldn't WAIT for her to turn me around to view this piece of artwork for myself. Then, she did. And, there, staring back in the mirror at me, was THIS:
So, dear old ladies of my twenties, I owe you an enormous apology. Because I am now YOU. I left that hair salon, went home, washed my hair, applied mousse and styling gel, threw my head upside down, blew it dry, inserted the largest Madonna-bowed head band I could find, cranked-up some Wham! on my stereo, and danced around my living room in wild abandon. Because as far as me and my hair are concerned, it's 1984, Baby!!
Thanks for Reading!!
- Anything Fits A Naked Man
- Nashville, TN, United States
- Welcome to my blog! I'm Joan, a former actress attempting to reconnect with my first love of writing. Join me as I ponder my Irish dad, sweet grandma, GPS dependency, hatred of the Hallmark channel, and other insightful topics that make you go, "Hmmm..."
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