Monday, February 22, 2010

Ethel the Tatooed Lady

"Joan, do you think you'll ever get a tatoo?"  I've been asked this question once or twice, and it's always followed with, "If you did, what design would you choose?"

I must admit, I've seen some truly gorgeous ink art displayed on my friends' arms, shoulders, ankles, hips, and even hands.  Some of them have chosen really thoughtful, clever, and original designs that completely grasp their personal style.  But I must confess, I honestly don't think it's for me. Let me tell you why...

I once volunteered with an organization designed to aid nursing home residents who had no remaining family members.  The program's aim was simple:  they compiled a list of residents who normally wouldn't have any visitors and assigned them each to a volunteer who would periodically stop in and check on them.  I thought it was a marvelous idea and signed up immediately. After clearing a background check and interview, I was assigned to a woman named Ethel. They gave me her room number along with these simple instructions:  show up, sit with her and talk! From the very minute I walked into Ethel's room, I knew I was going to LOVE this gig!!

She was a slight, thin woman with long, skinny legs and silvery straight hair that just barely brushed her shoulders. Her daily outfit consisted of a v-neck, colorful sweater pulled over a pair of cute, black "Laura Petri" capri pants. Physically, Ethel appeared in terrific shape, but her mental capacity sort of came and went.  This didn't bother her in the slightest.

My favorite thing about Ethel was her former occupation. Are you ready for this?  She was a DANCE HALL GIRL for a traveling carnival!!  AWESOME, right?  It was true, too!  I checked with her social worker and learned Ethel had spent the majority of her life working in carnivals.  When she grew too old to dance, she took on other jobs in the company, but her days onstage were clearly her proudest!

Ethel LOVED to tell stories about her travels and the celebrities for which she danced.  With very little prodding, she'd get up and give you a sample of her "moves," and I never got enough of her performances!  Grinning from ear to ear, she'd stand up, place one hand on her hip, the other behind her head, and begin this amazing belly-dancingesque, pelvic thrusting maneuver that never failed to make me blush!  Then, just like that, she'd bow, grab a cigarette from the nurses desk (she was allowed three a day!) and wave for me to follow her to the back outdoor patio.  After I finished my vigorous applause, I complied!

One visit, after a particularly rousing go-go performance, we were lounging on our usual patio bench when Ethel declared that she was hot (I wasn't surprised, she had just worked up quite a sweat!).  As she pushed up her sweater sleeves, however, I noticed a large black and blue spot on her upper arm.

"Oh my gosh, what happened?" I asked her.  "That's a pretty nasty bruise.  Did you fall?"

Ethel, cigarette dangling from the side of her mouth, looked at me in disgust and replied, "No, silly girl!  That's my TATOO!! Something wrong with your eyes?  It's a heart with an arrow through it!!"  She "tsked" at me, flipped her hair and took another long drag of nicotine.

I apologized and looked back at her arm.  Even though Ethel had not gained much weight in her later years, her skin had definitely sagged.  A lot.  What used to be a beautiful heart was now a large, ugly, black smudge.  I was glad that Ethel still saw her precious heart, but I can assure you, no one else COULD!

So, now, every time I pass a tatoo parlor and gaze at all the intricate, creative designs, I think of Ethel and her "heart bruise."  Then, I keep on walking!!

What about you?  Do you have a tatoo?  Of what?  If you don't, would you get one?  Tell me!!  I'd love to hear!  And, as always,


Thanks for Reading!!

80 comments:

secret agent woman said...

Here via Debbie.

No tattoos because I'm a needle phobe. And now you've just given me another reason. Maybe the safest thing would be grapes? Because then when you were 80 it would just look like raisins.

Terry said...

Yes, I have a tattoo...it's certainly not going to be pretty as I age...lol...it's on the left side of my abdomen!! Shit...wish late spouse would have thought of that when he begged me to get it!! It's a rose...which was a "bouquet" when I was pregnant :)

Gucci Mama said...

I have a tattoo that I wish I didn't have now. The tattoos you want when you're 18 are not those you want when you're...older. BUT it's invisible unless I wear a bikini which is NEVER going to happen. ;)

PinkPatentMaryJanes said...

Nah, I'm too indecisive. And I'd be scared that my tattooist would be having an 'off' day and my peony would end up looking like a pug {I do like pugs though...}.

I do love Ethel - what a fabulous story!

GregoryJ said...

Before I forget, would it be possible to use a larger font for an oldster like me?

I got a tattoo of a yellow rose a long time ago. A dark yellow rose on a brown stem.

Well, now it looks more like a maple tree in October.

tattoo-oo-oo-oo-oooo

Shana said...

Oh man I would have loved Ethel! My Mom worked in nursing homes for years and I volunteered a lot and loved it. Maybe I should start volunteering again?! Hmmm, something to think about. As for tattoos, I have 3. I have a heart with flames around it on my left shoulder blade. This was my first one and it is only about 2 inches square because I was scared...lol. I usually forget I even have it because I never see it. The second one I got is a design I made myself. It is the sun, moon, stars, earth, water and fire all combined to make a gorgeous, colorful sun shape. Not sure how to describe it. It is on my right calf. I wish it was in a hidden spot because now when I go to church I have to always wear long skirts because I feel it is inappropriate. The third one I have is another one I designed. It says Shana loves Chris and there is a ladybug flying through the letters. The wording is of course because I love my hubs. the ladybug is a tribute to my aunt who passed away at 43. She had a ladybug tattoo. I do regret getting them. I wish the ones I have were more invisible so I could hide them and not be self concious. I am a different person now than I was then. Oh well, can't change it now.

*uncorked said...

Oh God I love the way you told this story. I'm the same way - first it would be ridiculously difficult to choose something I would want on my body for eternity. Then how scary that it could/would end up looking like a nasty bruise. Yeesh. I have some friends who have them and are still thrilled they got them and some others who regret the decision. I guess you can get them removed these days, but still. Too many needles for my liking.

Jean said...

Oh I love Ethel! I imagine those days you spent with her were filled with stories that you couldn't make up if you tried.

As for tattoos...I have 7 of them. My mother once sent me an email of a woman in her 70's covered head to toe in tattoos, I think she was trying to tell me something :)

xo

Richard @ The Bewildered Brit said...

I love tattoos, but I don't think I'd ever get one for myself. I'd definitely worry about what it'd look like in a few decades time! :)

Chell... said...

I, like all the other kids my age, desperately wanted a tattoo. Of what though, I wasn't as sure in. I took a few years to decide and narrowed it down to one pic. After a year plus of trying to decide myself out of it...I couldn't, so I went and had it done by a friend. OH THE PAIN! It hasn't been a year yet, but I am still excited about having it done!

If interested, the pic of the work can be found on my blog here: http://misschelliebellie.blogspot.com/2009/05/been-way-for-whileoops.html

just call me jo said...

Truly poignant story of Ethel. I had a land lady once whose tattoo had turned to an ugly, wrinkled blob.
No I don't have a tattoo for all kinds of reasons. Partly because I'm a chicken, partly because my mother would have killed me...There are other parts, but it's OK. I don't have the sassiness to support it like Ethel.

Melissa @ Cellulite Investigation said...

I'm not tempted by tattoos, either. I don't even paint my nails, so permanently inking my body is NOT on my "to-do" list.

Lora said...

Great story(as usual). As for myself, I have a small star on the back of my neck (much to the dismay of my mother). I recieved my 'ink' while attending college at USM. I didn't get anyone's name, or anything that was a tribute to someone else. I got is simply because that year had been one of the greatest, and I wanted some permanent memory of that beautiful little slice of time. I do worry that in 30 years I will have my own 'Ethel-Bruise' but I also like knowing that, whatever happens, I can just reach around and feel that little star and be reminded of that fantastic chapter in my life.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

I have a tattoo of a butterfly ... on my BOOB. I got it when I was sixteen, when my boobs were still perky and cute and hadn't breastfed three kids. But now, at 29? They're sagging. My butterfly isn't - yet - but I have this fear that someday it'll look less like a butterfly and more like a pterodactyl.

Bossy Betty said...

OH, I loved the story of Ethel. What a great program! Hey, as long as she could see the heart, what does it matter to other people.

What I would get? Hummmmmm....I am going to have to think about that--something to symbolize my sons no doubt.

Eyegirl said...

First, thank you so much for all of your comments on my blog recently! Second, I don't have a tattoo but I want one. I want to get a key, which has a long story behind it, but I haven't found the exact design and I won't get it until I find the perfect one.

Loving Wife, Working Mom said...

I have a tattoo on my right shoulder. The writing means: Everything shall pass, except the face of God. It is pretty small, but it is a reminder for me. When I got it, it was one of the darkest moments in my life. Although I've had some other moments, it is a reminder for me. I think that's why it's so meaningful. I got it not because of the shock value (I got it before it was "cool" to be tattoed), or because it was particularly pretty (although it is), I got it for me. It reminds me of something. Maybe for Ethel it's not about the blob, but a reminder of a life she's obviously proud of. I like Ethel. I wish that when I am old, I can be strutting it also... :)

Yankee Girl said...

I have 4 tattoos and I love them all. Though I know the day will come when they look like black splotches, I enjoy them now and will still enjoy them when my husband and I are the only two people who know what they are.

Ethel sounds like she was an awesome woman.

CentFla said...

Good one baby! I have always thought that we should wait until we are about 55 or 60 years old and THEN get a tattoo. That way it would look great for the rest of your life and you would be MUCH more likely to connect with it than something you got 50 years before.

Renae said...

No tatooes here, but I've seen some really nice ones. I'm not good with needles.. :)
But Ethel sounds like a real firecracker of a lady! Love the story about her. Just pictured her as I read.

Rhiannon said...

I don't have a tattoo purely because I am scared of having it turn to a mushy blot of ink.

However, I did have an appointment booked at a Sydney Tattoo Studio. It would of cost me a butt load and they refused to do my tattoo smaller than a hand...and that is pretty big.

We live in a Zoo! said...

What a fun story!
I don't believe in tattoos, they always look dirty to me for some reason.
My friend got one and I just thought it was the weirdest thing.

Jaime said...

i love a little ink on a guy. but it's not for me. first off, i don't do pain. but i could never think of anything that memorable that i wanted to emblazon on my flesh...

Erin said...

I have a secret one . . . I haven't come out yet . . . but when I do, it'll be on my blog :)

Erin said...

And great post by the way! What an amazing story!

Sylvia K said...

I've never had a real interest in tattoos primarily because I knew what would happen to it when I got old! Well, I am old and I'm sure as hell glad I didn't get one even though I'm pretty good condition. But who'd want to look at tattoo on an old broad anyway??? Not me! Fun post!

Sylvia

WhisperingWriter said...

That last picture made me giggle.

I don't have a tattoo. Mainly because I think about what it'll look like when I'm old. It'll just be a bunch of wrinkly colors.

Heatherlyn said...

Actually, this is EXACTLY what I tell my kids. I tell them to color their hair and try different clothing styles, but tatoos last FOREVER. So don't get one. Because people change. Their tastes change. Their style changes. And their body changes. I think I will read them this blog post. They believe me, but it just proves my point!

Being Me said...

I don't have one and have no desire for one. Loved your story about Ethel, sounds a lot like my grandmother (sans tatt)!

Helena said...

Great read! No tats here, maybe temporaries if the needs should ever arise. Hasn't yet! I was really interested in Ethel's dancing moves! I have a post on my blog that you might be interested in. It's about Viktoriya, a Ukrainian ballerina who moved to the Middle East and became a renowned belly dancer. 2 parts to it! Thanks again for the gems.

Allison said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with getting them, but it's just a personal preference. I might would consider a small one that was very discreet. I don't like them visible at all.

Brenda Susan said...

Ha! I have to admit that your blog title really grabbed my attention when I checked out my new "Followers"!! I am going to love reading you, I can tell! Yes, i have a wonderful tattoo that I got last summer at the ripe old age of 54!! I don't regret it at all. If you're curious i blogged about it alot.
I'll be back!
And thanks for following me!!

JenJen said...

I have four tats....and I wanna get more! Go ink! Go smudges! Go living in the moment and relishing an unpredictible future!

Kakka said...

I have always wanted a tatoo - but have always thought, what happens when I get old and my skin sags - and here you have answered my question. So no tatoos for me either.

thedoggedpursuit said...

My tattoos is enormous and covers most of my right thigh. I got it when I was 41 and yes, it is very meaningful. It's me as the Grim Reaper with the words "Enter Mortuous Ero" which roughly translated, means "Because one day I'll be among the dead."

Here's the thing though-- I know one day I'm probably going to BE Ethel, in a nursing home, no relatives, depending on the kindness and integrity of strangers for my daily needs. When the perky volunteers and the jaded staff are tending my fading body, I'm going to be so proud of my faded tattoo. Hopefully it will have served it's purpose, to remind me every day that life is short and that time runs out. Hopefully, I will remember all of the experiences I had because I lived up to the meaning of that tattoo and embraced life fully while I still could.

And when some young whipper-snapper thinks it looks like a big ol' black blob, I'm going to shoot back a toothless grin, remember the time I did __________, and say "no honey, that's just my tattoo."

Eva Gallant said...

I loved this post! I've never had a desire to have a tattoo--thank goodness! If I'd had one in my youth, I shudder to think what it would look like now with all the weight I've gained over the years! A kitty-cat would have transformed into a lion by now!

Evonne said...

Ethel sounds like a great lady!

Yes I have tattoos - 4 of them. A dragon, a ladybug, flowered vines, and flowers with my kids names. Me and my husband are working on getting another one.

Taylor-Made Wife said...

I have a longhorn skull with a Texas flag filling it in...in the tramp stamp spot. It makes me sound soo white trash but I honestly love it (and I've ad it for about 8 years). I want more but Im at a point that it seems like there are better things I could spend my money on. I looooove men with tatoos though. Just love them...but I don't like satanic or evil ones... Im a picky rebelious girl ;)

Just be happy! said...

I don't have any tattoos, I never got one because I worried about it looking bad or choosing something I'd regret.

Thank you for visiting my little blog, it's always a pleasure to read your comments.

I love your blog, I became a fan and I'll be stopping by more often. :o)

Richard said...

I don't have a tattoo, but I have alot of body hair, One time when my shirt rode up someone thought I had a lower back tattoo. I could just get some hair gel and make some designs. That would be nice. I'll understand if you never let me comment again.

Everyday Goddess said...

No permanent ink.
I'm oldschool ~ I love to get body painted!

Ace said...

Well, first of all, thanks for visiting my blog and becoming a follower! I see you're from York. I'm in PA, too, though I'm just a little east of Pittsburgh.

I got my first tattoo last summer for my 45th birthday. I'd wanted one for years and told my husband that at 45 I basically needed to either "shit or get off the pot." We were in the car at the time and drove straight to a tattoo place. I looked at all their designs but didn't see what I wanted so I came home and did a lot of looking on the internet. I went back with a couple of ideas and worked with it. I love the beach so my tat is a clump of seaweed with a cute little tropical fish, a star fish, and a scallop shell with swirls of water behind it. It's on my ankle and not that big, probably 5 or 6 inches. It's pretty, though. He used 17 colors in it. He was so proud of it he has it featured in his online portfolio.

My mom thinks I'm nuts and keeps mentioning how stupid it's going to look when I'm old (I figure I'll have lots of company). My daughter turns 18 this summer and wants me to take her for her first tattoo as a birthday present and get one with her. I'm thinking about it.

Amy said...

Cute story about Ethel. I hope I can have a little of that moxy when I am older.

No tattoo's on this body. I think about it. Then think about saggy body parts, wrinkly skin, and a dolphin that may end up looking like a sickly whale.

The last picture cracked me up. I know a guy who really looks like the tattoo on the back of that head.

Happy to have found you. I will be back.

Krista said...

What a great story - Ethel sounds like right the card!

I have three tattoos... on my right ankle I have a maple leaf - the colours are quite close to my skin tone, nothing dark except the outline so I am happy about that. If it sags at least it's not overtly noticeable. On my left ankle I have a cluster of musical notes which is black, small and unobtrusive. On my right hip/panty line I have a small libra sign. I don't like that one, I want it gone! It was poorly done... at least it's small and simple! :o)

I'm having a giveaway for my followers... you should stop by! :o)

Picture Imperfect Follower Giveaway

JenJen said...

Yep. I have one. I have the symbol of infinity on my right ankle. "without limits" sigh...if only...

Deborah Ann said...

I visit with the elderly too, it sure blesses my heart!

Ethel sounds like a girl after my own heart. I'm jealous that you get to watch her performances!Hehe...

Delana said...

Oh, I so want to be Ethel....and you are so lucky to have known Ethel. And I think if I were to ever get a tattoo, it would SAY Ethel and would be upside down on my arm so I could always be reminded of her. Great story.

About 10 years ago while attending a summer music festival, I saw a beautiful young girl in a skimpy top with a lovely, delicate tatoo across her lower stomach. I admired it outwardly but inside all I kept thinking was "honey someday you're going to get pregnant and after is all said and done, that artwork is going to look like a drawing of the stuff that grows on the top of an old carton of cottage cheese".

And then I pierced my nose.

Miss Go Lightly said...

I've a couple of tattoos..the biggest pieces on both of my arms, and before getting them I gave the whole wrinkly, saggy skin some thought but came to terms with it. I figured it will give me a chance to tell stories of why and how I came about choosing these particular tattoos :) and...I also found comfort knowing that my Geisha (on my right arm) will share my droopy and saggy skin when her boobs aren't too perky either ;)

Missy said...

I do not have a tattoo and I'm happy I don't. And have you read Water for Elephants - after reading this post, I think you might like it!!

lifeshighway said...

I adore Ethel. Used to so quite a bit of volunteering at nursing homes but never met a true gem like her.

Tattoo, no way. I get too bored. I would end up disliking it in a year or too. Way before the bagging even started.

Juliana said...

Can I be fiends with Ethel ha ha...last last tat picture has me lol!

Tammie said...

no tattoos here, basically for the exact reason you mentioned.growing older bring on enough body image issues, why add one more to the mix?

ethel sounds like a pretty groovy lady though.

Chloe said...

No tatoo for me. Too scared of needles and pain. Although I do have a belly ring. But that's one pinch and it's over, so no big deal.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

I love tatoos, but I don't think I would ever get one for myself.
Hope your day is a good one so far.
Betty xx

Tracie said...

I love Ethel's story. I worked in nursing homes for many years and loved my elderly patients so much. I wish I had been blogging and not drinking back in those days. Now I can only remember bits and pieces of their wonderful stories.

No tats for me. My previous job experiences gave me a glimpse of what tatoos and aging skin look like.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

ok, i love this post for a couple of reasons - i heart the elderly so so so much. they make me happy, they have so much to teach and share with us! ethel has a great story btw.

as for tattoo's i have two, one on my right hip i got when i was stoned and 19 (big mistake) and one on the inside of my left wrist as an memorial to my father a got a few years back. i LOVE the one on my wrist so so so so much.

Christine said...

Elthel sounds like a HOOT!!

Kaloula said...

I would love to meet Ethel, and also hoping my tat doesn't turn into a bruise!

Diane said...

What a great story! I've often thought that about tattoos, but I figure by the time I'm old and senile, I won't give a crap what it looks like ;). I don't have one yet but I'm getting one in a few months... a small compass on the inside of my right wrist. I can see it (imperative) but I can also cover it up if I want (even more imperative!).

Jenny said...

No tats for me. But I love your story. Didn't there used to be that show on Bravo about tattoo artists? I think it looks like it would hurt. And I am all about avoiding pain at all costs.

Although...I will let you in on a little secret.

When I was little my older sister stabbed be in the side of my forehead with a pencil. And I have this weird blue/black mark there...so I might start telling people it is a tattoo. Just to be cool, ya know?

And I think before you make this commitment you should probably read this post of mine...there are alternatives you know?

http://jennymatlock.blogspot.com/2009/10/sothis-morning-i-went-downtown.html

Moooooog35 said...

Yeah.

I have a goddamn tattoo.

Thanks for dredging up that Hell.

Hope you're happy now.

Moooooog35 said...

Oh, well that's just brilliant. My link doesn't show up in your comments so..you know..

HERE YOU GO:

http://www.midgetmanofsteel.com/2007/11/bunch-of-little-pricks-my-tattoo.html

Like typing that once wasn't bad enough.

You're killing me, woman. KILLING ME.

citymouse said...

I don't have any, but over the years I've thought about it. The truth is, even if I wanted one now, I think I've missed that boat. Images, much like yours of Ethel, haunt me and I figure I better leave well enough alone.

Denali said...

Let me start with I was in college when I got mine. Three guesses, give up? I have a butterfly on my lower back. A tramp stamp as my husband refers to it. I did have reasoning behind it. I was super shy and very heavy when I was little. I lost the weight, gained a ton of confidence and became a social butterfly. I thought it was fitting. The weight is back, lol. The tatoo is down low enough that you only see it if I bend over. I'm thankful for that. I wish it was artistic and beautiful, but it's not. It is artistic, just not beautifully artistic...if that makes sense.

I was convinced that I would die before I went for it, but it didn't hurt at all. After a few minutes my whole back went numb.

www.wildponybeast.blogspot.com

The Savage said...

I found you via Stir Fry Awesomeness.
Ethel the Tattooed Lady. I love the title. It has a Groucho Marxesque appeal! I also love interesting old people with interesting old stories.
I have 41 tattoos myself....

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I have a sister who is 17yrs younger than me. So I am mostly like a mom and when she wanted to get a tattoo in high school I asked her what type did she have in mind. She told me a flower on the top of her boob. I suggested that the flower will look great until you are much older and then it will look like it's wilting. She laughed and said, "good point". She ended up getting a tattoo anyway and she came over to my house to show me. It was of Winnie the Pooh in full color on her ankle. Sheesh.

Now as an adult with 2 children she HATES it. Of course you would hate Winnie the Pooh over the age of 16!!! She was asked about it once on a job interview. So from then on she would cover it with make up (no she didn't get the job) After her son is done with college her plan is to have it taken off - I told her why bother now. It will amuse her in the nursing home!

SM said...

Great blog!!

I have three... a panther, a hummingbird and my zodiac sign. They all represent something in my life.

Julie Cornewell said...

I have a tribal armband and want to get roses on the top of my foot. I wanted to thank you for following Diary of a Single Mommy and let you know that my blog has moved to http://childrenmakeyoucrazy.blogspot.com/

"And so our stories go..." said...

What a great story. And what a great way to volunteer. My one fear is what happened to Ethel, the last woman in my family standing. Yikes
Mary

Kate said...

You are quite a writer!! I loved this piece. :)

I am right there with you with tattoos. I know I would get one and then immediately regret it. I'm not that good at sticking to decisions anyways so permanent ink is OUT. :)

iheartbowheads.blogspot.com said...

No way - I was barely able to get my ears pierced! :) I did go through this strange phase when my son was a baby and I was staying up all night with him and I was watching LA Ink and I kept having these VIVID dreams that I got his beautiful little baby boy face tatoo on my whole back. I would literally wake up and feel my back to see if it was there - very strange. :)

Leeuna said...

To each his/her own, but tattoos were never for me. I think they look okay if they're small and tastefully done.

I love your Ethel story. I can just imagine her dancing. I know you brought a lot of happiness into her life just by being there to listen.

Anonymous said...

you spelled tatto wrong. i hate that.

Anonymous said...

i did too. tattOO! there.

Rachel said...

Totally cracking up because that is my standard issue response when someone asks me if I'll get some ink. I always say I'm gonna be that old lady in a nursing home who will be thankful she didn't! :)

Love your story!

Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

I have no ink.....I'm a chicken.

Shan said...

I do have a tattoo. A couple of the older women at my old office started a trend. Apparently I'm such a follower!

It started out as two little ladybugs walking along (black dot footprints). In comparison to Tami's stunning fairy swinging on a grapevine under an arbor, mine was just "cute." So I added some flowers and later a dragonfly. I thought about doing more, but as it's from my left breast up to my clavicle, work clothes have been limited enough.

I dread it all turning into an awful heart smudge/bruise. Once I'm all done with this birthing gig, I plan to have it recolored to keep it fresh (it's almost 10 years old now, so it seems like time, doesn't it?).

Holly said...

That was my nightmare...that is one of the things that kept me from ever getting a tattoo...and the fact I could never decide on a design. I am not pro or con tattoos but am glad I did not get one.

Kellyansapansa said...

I have a tattoo (which I've actually been meaning to blog about). I thought about it a lot before I got it and doubt I'll ever regret it. On the other hand, my sister is in the process of getting a tattoo removed, because she got one on impulse and it doesn't mean anything to her. Unfortunately it's costing her about ten times the original cost and a two year process to get it removed.

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