"SNOWPOCALYPTIGEDDON" for ME!

"Sorry, ladies.  The fuse is completely blown and has to be replaced.  Looks like you'll be without power for at least another hour, probably two."  We all sat at our desks listening, trying to put on our best, "Oh, dear!  And I REALLY wanted to sit at my desk and WORK for the next two hours!" faces. 

It was 1993, and Alan and I had been living in Orlando, Florida for only a few short months.  I had just started a temp job to earn money while I was waiting for some upcoming local theme park auditions. I'd gotten a nice gig as a transcriptionist at a doctor's office and had been there only a few days when the power suddenly failed.  Everything; lights, computers, copy machines, and faxes, all went dead.  We were sitting patiently in the semi-dark when our office manager appeared with the above announcement.

So, after secretly high-fiving each other under our desks, celebrating our extended break time, we all stepped outside and sat on a nearby picnic table, basking in the Florida sunshine.

"You know what this feels like, you guys?"  I said to the group, "A SNOW day!  We've just been given our very own, two hour, SNOW DAY!!"  

Five blank faces stared back at me. 

"A what?" one girl asked. 

"A snow day!  You know, the radio announces your school's closed due to inclimate weather, and you get to stay home and build snowmen!"
Wow," another girl said, "That sounds cool!"


My friends, these poor women, natives of the Sunshine State, had not only never EXPERIENCED a snow day, they had no idea of it's very EXISTENCE!  I wanted to hug them all to my chest and pat their heads to comfort their poor, deprived souls.  How can you go through an entire childhood without knowing the euphoric joy of a snow day?


One of my coworkers became a bit defensive and told me that they had their own Florida version of a blizzard -- the hurricane.  Same thing, she told me.  School gets cancelled, you stay inside.  Six of one, half-dozen of the other.  I was intrigued. A few years later, when Alan and I had just purchased our first home in Orlando, we experienced our first hurricane, and I learned how very, very wrong my office friend had been!  


We followed all the pre-hurricane instructions that the newsmen repeated ad nauseum prior to the storm arriving:
  
1.  Stock up on water, non-perishable foods, batteries and flashlights.
2.  Fill your gas tank.
3.  Take out extra cash from your bank account.
4.  Bring in EVERYTHING from your yard that could be a projectile in gusty winds.  This includes flower pots, shepherd's hooks, garden statues, door wreaths, lawn furniture and gas grills.
5.  Board up your windows, tape them if no plywood is available (and it won't be, because everyone rushes to Home Depot and buys every last plank within the first 17 seconds of a tropical storm appearing on the Doppler radar).


Then, once the storm hit, you were given strict instructions to STAY PUT, do NOT leave your house.  If the center of the storm should pass over your home, proceed immediately to a bathroom or closet, any room without windows, and cover yourselves with a mattress.  This was advised in case debris (or walls) may be falling around you. When the storm finally arrived, you'd sit on your couch, hugging your pets, trying not to cringe every time the winds would gust, rattling the windows.  It was TERRIFYING!!  

After the hurricane finally passed and everyone was in agreement that the coast was clear, you'd walk outside and view the devastation of your neighborhood.  Downed trees, broken fence rails and detached roof shingles decorated the landscape.  Just about the time you'd get your yard cleaned up, your power restored, and your flower pots and porch furniture back in place, that bastard weatherman would appear on television once again, punching up his "Super Doppler" equipment and revealing the next "tropical disturbance" forming just south of Cuba.  You'd sigh, have a brief cry, then head back out to grab the flower pots once again.


Now, here I am back up north, and we've just experienced a very snowy week.  Actually, it was a pretty major blizzard, or "Snowpocalypse," as it has so annoyingly been named by the clever, clever media.  Schools have been closed, highways have been shut-down, and a "snow emergency" has been declared.  It's all made me think back to those hurricane days, and I've decided I much prefer Pennsylvania blizzards and "Snowmageddons" (their other "cute" name) over Florida hurricanes ANY DAY!!  


Here's a quick comparison of my experiences, see if you agree:


Hurricane:  Severe rain and winds, gusting up to over 80 mph, pummel your town for hours on end.  Entire trees are uprooted, roofs are blown off of houses.

Blizzard:  A lot of snow falls. Massive snow forts are erected. Snow ball fights ensue.


Hurricane:  As the storm passes over your home, you huddle in your closet and pray nothing comes flying through your windows (or ceiling).


Blizzard:  As the snow falls, you have to stay indoors and drink hot chocolate, watching beautiful white flakes descend from the sky, making your yard look like it's been covered with a white down blanket.  You must then snuggle on the couch with your handsome husband and cute terrier and watch the John Adams HBO miniseries blue ray discs that your brother got you for Christmas.


Hurricane:  After the storm passes, you use a chainsaw (if you can get one.  Home Depot sells out of those real quick, too, during hurricane season) to break-up the downed tree in your yard that is now blocking the street.  You re-plant all the younger trees that have toppled over with their rootball exposed.  Also, you pick up the rails of your broken fence that are now scattered all around the entire neighborhood, and try to reassemble them.  Next, you sweep all debris off of your sidewalk, driveway, and porch and skim the gunk out of the pool.  You replace everything from your porch that was brought inside pre-storm.  Finally, you sweat a lot until the downed power lines are restored (usually within two to three weeks), when you can finally have air conditioning once again.


Blizzard:  After the storm passes, you shovel your driveway.  Then you come back inside. Next, you consume more hot chocolate (after all, you've EARNED it!!).  

So, that's it.  I'll take snow days over hurricane hysteria ANY day of the week, if anyone should ask!  What do YOU think?  Have you been the victim of a hurricane nightmare, or a blizzard "white-out?"  How did you fare?  I'd love to hear your opinion!  Go ahead, let me have it!!  I'll come back and check your comment in a little while. I have a snowman I need to build out front!  But first, a little hot chocolate...


Thanks for Reading!!